When I first started online dating, I had this notion that dating more than one person simultaneously would somehow be insincere. There were times where I would end up talking to a few girls at once but this was always accidental.With this approach, I went on one first-date every month, sometimes less.
On one occasion when things were going very poorly, instead of stressing out, I told my date I didn’t think we were a great match but that we could still have fun over dinner.
She seemed relieved and agreed to try to enjoy the dinner.
Using my original method for dating (one girl a month at best), my odds of meeting that special someone were very low and theoretically it would have taken a long time to meet her. The issue here is the length of time only identifies part of the problem as it assumes that the “match” won’t move on to something else: a new job that she wouldn’t have been taken had she been in a relationship, settling for someone just to not be alone, etc.
Taking too long doesn’t just mean you’re looking longer. I believe that dating many people improves your chances in two ways: you have a better chance of meeting someone who you are looking for but you also potentially avoid missing out on someone who may move on if you never get around to meeting in the first place.
Dating in numbers allowed me to make decisions based on what I desired, not based on how lonely I was at that time.
It also helped me better define what I was looking for in my profile. Greater Comfort One great side-effect to dating so actively was that I became more comfortable with dating itself.
Once I relaxed, I felt much better about the impressions I was leaving.
Even when things didn’t work out and my date was not interested in seeing me again, at least I knew we just weren’t a match instead of wondering if I had only done “better” would she have liked me? Improved Odds If you believe that you can get along with out there then dating few people could work for you.
I still wasn’t the most confident guy (for example, I still wasn’t randomly asking girls out in public) but I was becoming very comfortable on dates, which gave the appearance of confidence. Less Stress With dating multiple women, there was always another first date on the horizon. I lost my hell-bent desire to make every date go perfectly.
When the stress lessened, I stopped paying attention to myself and started paying attention to my date.
Around the eighth month of my online dating experience, I gave up on my “sincere” method of meeting girls and intentionally tried to meet as many girls as possible at once.